Ive been set free, so to speak.  Free of the illusion or assumption that I must be any bigger than who i am. I prayed with the names and learned the formulas and meditated upon the teachings. I have been fried many times over and then set free. It started with the letter Aleph poetically enough. Its really the only thing I had at the time amidst all my ass umed knowledge or lack thereof. When you stand in front of the King you cannot fake it. He sees right through you and politely asks “where are you”. Im hiding behind branches and secondary pursuits that satisfy the trends but leave me with little in the means of substance. It can never be anything other than what and who you are. This is the tree of life. It begins with Hassidut, the initial constriction into the vessels of ordinary yihudim for wagon wheel fixers and pipe smokers. It continues to descend until Rebbe Nachman calls the buck to stop here by you. It is no teaching or idea, no complex formulaei or deep meditation. It is where you really are standing in this moment in this mud. If it si not coming from that honesty,  it can be called good and bad the tree of knowledge the snake. It doesn’t really matter if you have all the right answers or scored all the points in the playoff game. Its dust for the snake.

HOwever, if your a criminal, a pervert, or a drug addict, ahhh this is where you can begin to taste the tree of life. Even a mediocre buisnessman can taste it if for one minute or one hour or one day if he stops to admit what he really is and seeks to serve Him from there.  I am the worst shoe maker in the world but it is who I am. I have only bread and water and a tattered coat but it is wine and beef and the finest kingly robes because with them i am standing before the altar, at my shabbas table singing to the King. Offering my incense my holy fire, albiet I only bring the spark, the rest is science, it is enough.  This is what I  bring before the King.  ALeph, Matzah, its really nothing mixed with water but if you are eating manna it is an everlasting gobstopper, a seven course extravaganza because every stitch I sew and every can of peas I stock on the shelf, I am coming home. I am simple and set free. I am happy because I can be nothing else. I am an aleph, a tree, a flower, a precious stone on HaSHems breastplate. I need nothing more. We can sit here on the park bench for all eternity and being with you is enough. You are enough, your being, your emunah, naturally. matzah is eating the tree of life and starting at zero at aleph, everything returns. This is the glory and the splendor of the Tzadik the true Redeemer the Moses who brings you out of egypt. His name is enough to bring you out a little by little. First Na then Nach, Nachma, Nachman MeUman . YOu can not skip steps, it, and you must start at the beginning. It is the only thing you really have after all is accounted. The end has begun and we are all being called to our place. Being Zusha not Moshe. I will not be a wise cracker and I will beleive even if i don’t see and I will eventually sit next to the King.